Every choice had a consequence. I'd earned every aching beat that pounded in my chest.
I seriously don't know how I feel about this book. I know for sure I read the first two books in this series last summer, a whole year ago, and absolutely adored them. They were like an emotional train wreck I just couldn't look away from. But it took forever for this book in the series to even have a release date, and when it finally got one it was ages away. Lucky for me, I have like 1700 books on my TBR list so I kept my self occupied, but I never lost my anticipation for this one. :( Now I just feel,....I have no idea what I feel, disappointment, confusion?? I'm not sure, I'll try to explain. "You can't keep pushing everyone away...because one of these days, you'll wake up and no one."
When book 2 ended with that crazy ending, I thought I had somewhat of an idea where this would go, maybe not exactly but at least in some direction, I was totally off. 2 YEARS PASSED?!?!?!!? 2 YEARS!?!?!!? I mean sure, that's how long it felt like I waited but I couldn't believe the story skipped ahead that far. Anyway, Emma is living in California going to Stanford. She's pretty much keeps to herself with the exception of her room mates. But when one night the box holding her past literally opens it's like something in Emma comes apart too. Suddenly she's drinking, partying, and on the biggest downward spiral I think I have ever read. No one can seem to get through to her, until she meets Cole. I have so much to say about Cole, but I'll get around to that. "I promise not to delve into what makes your silence so loud, if you promise not to walk out on me."
Cole and Emma seem to share some sort of connection???, except Emma refuses to really let him in. I felt so bad for the guy, it was like she was just using him, because it is obvious she is never truely going to ever let anyone in. When she is basically forced to go back to Weslyn, that's when she basically broke. Of course we all know who and what is in Weslyn.
Okay, so that is a basic summary and I don't think I should give many other details, but I have so much more to say. First, the drinking thing didn't really bother me like I have seen others no liking. I mean, that's what happens in college, it's not like it's a surprise or anything. Did she take it too far, yeah sometimes, but really I think she was just fighting her demons so hard she had lost control. The thing with Jonathan, I'm still confused about. I mean not confused by what happened, but confused to why that's the only part he played in this book. Not that I guess it was that big of a deal, but he was such a big part of book 2 I was shocked that he was such a minor character in this book.Hold on to this life, Emma. You're so much stronger than you think you are.
And then Cole. I really really like him. Gah, he is the most patient and forgiving guy, but at times I got a little aggravated at him for being such a pushover. Maybe he knew things would only last so long. But when he left her at the house after the letter, I pretty much knew his time was short lived. I hated the way he left, but totally understood at the same time."Maybe it's because once you put all the pieces together, you end up with something beautiful."
Evan, Evan, Evan. I have mixed feeling about him too. Talk about patience and forgiveness. I guess he should have saint status with the things he put up with. However, he's not perfect by far either. When she confessed that deep secret and he let her go after telling her no matter what he would never leave her, I kinda sorta hated him for that moment. But geez, this guy put up with some high stakes drama to try to fix the girl he loves. Omg, that night on the beach where he confessed everything that happened after she left him, he sorta kinda hurt my heart. Not because of him hurting her, but because of some of the things he said. "Living in the mistakes of your past isn't going to do anything but destroy your future.""I never stopped loving you, Emma. I just don't know how to love you enough."
"Why would you say that?"
"If I did, you'd trust me with all of you."
"I'm afraid. So afraid that is you see who I truly am, you'll hate me. And I can't let that happen. I only exist because of you.~~~I want to be so much better than this girl in front of you. I want to deserve you, to let you love me. I just don't know how."
"You don't have to let me, Emma. I already do. You just have to love me back. WIth everything you have. And that's all I need. I need you. All of you."
And then there's Emma. I don't know man. Some of the stuff she said I truely wanted to shake her. How can one person, destroy their own life that much. I got sorta aggravated at her. I know, some of the stuff she has been through, were pure shit situations. I'm not even going to lie. The aunt, losing her dad, HER BITCH OF A MOTHER, and the thing with Jonathan, all total shit situations, but some of the things she brought on herself. Losing Evan. She never had to make that decision. It was the stupidest thing ever. The thing with Jonathan was not even her fault. I could go on and on. The girl needed to see a shrink and some meds would have helped her too. Problem solved.
But the main thing is this book. I felt like some of it just drug on and on. I get it, this is not an easy story to tell. But I feel like 100 pages could have been edited out easy. And then, that FREAKING ENDING. *red face* WHAT WAS THAT?!?!?! It's like we took this seriously long heart breaking, deep story and then got one sentence of a epilogue. Okay, not literally but really, I was so pissed. IT seemed like almost an afterthought. I really like what happened, it was sweet and good to see after what had happened to that "household", but that's not at all what I wanted. I seriously thought we would see them getting married or something. As cliche as that may be, I think that level of commitment was exactly what these two needed. And also to see Emma,....well and non-suicidal. Seriously, maybe a happy Emma for once. And her snobby ass grandmother doesn't even deserve her time of day. "I'm not suppose to live without you. And you're not supposed to live without me. We're in this life together. Without each other, we're not really living."
Overall, it was a really good series. The first two books were amazing. And this book wasn't horrible, just not ever what I had imagined it was going to be. I knew Evan would be coming to find Emma, or vise versa, but never did I see it happening this way. I still recommend it, just bring a large amount of patience with you.
From before I read it....
Ohmigod, I have been waiting on this book since around July of last year....I can't wait anymore, so excited for this to come out.